Motherhood Stands the Test of Time
Mother’s Day is just around the corner – Sunday, May 14, 2017 – so it’s a good time to reflect on the special relationships that anchor us through the growing years and mutually sustain us as we get older. When we’re young, we may not always appreciate our mothers’ suggestions, but as we age the relationship with our mothers change, and we may become more accepting of the wisdom and sound advice they can offer.
What Mothers Know
Mothers have different relationships with sons than with daughters, and while neither can be overlooked, there is certainly something unique about the mother-daughter bond. As Karen Natkow, CALA Resident Services Coordinator explains, “The mother-daughter relationship is unique because your mother always has a different perspective about you based on things she knows about you that others don’t.” Call it instinct, but mothers are pretty savvy when it comes to their daughters!
A Mother-Daughter Pair
You don’t have to look too far at Stein Assisted Living to find a mother-daughter pair who exemplify the special mother-daughter connection. Toby Ehrlich, CALA, LCSW, Director of Corporate Marketing for the Wilf Campus, is in a unique position to see her mom, 92-year-old Anne Brown, a resident at Stein Assisted Living. “My mom knows my voice, my walk, my expressions, even before they come out,” explains Ehrlich. “There is such a special trust and love that we share.”
Brown takes pride in having raised her daughters to become women with their own lives and careers. “It is marvelous having daughters!” she exclaims. “I’m so lucky to have such caring daughters and I hope their children will be as caring to them in the future as they are to me.” She adds wisely, “If you have a good relationship with your children when they are young, that helps keep the relationship strong when you are older.”
Embracing Changing Roles
There is a Jewish proverb, “What the daughter does, the mother did.” This rings true as mothers and daughters age and daughters may become mothers themselves. Once roles that were all too familiar seem to shift as parents face challenges of aging that may impede their independence. “Sometimes I think our roles have reversed because I’m telling my mom what she needs to do and watching out for her,” reflects Ehrlich. “This can be a difficult adjustment at first, but over time my mother and I have come to embrace it and are at peace with it.”
Both daughters agree that treating each other with respect and dignity are paramount in navigating the mother-daughter relationship. “As your mother gets older, do not make her feel inconsequential,” warns Natkow. “Overlook the things that bother you whenever possible,” adds Ehrlich, “and try to remember that, no matter what, both mother and daughter are coming from a place of love.”
Good advice for this Mother’s Day, whether you are a mother, daughter, and yes, even a son!
Happy Mother’s Day to all our mothers at The Oscar and Ella Wilf Campus!
The Oscar and Ella Wilf Campus for Senior Living is comprised of Stein Assisted Living, Jaffa Gate Memory Care Neighborhood, Stein Hospice, Wilentz Senior Residence, Wilf Transport, and The Foundation at the Wilf Campus. For more information, contact us at (732) 568-1155, [email protected] or visit us at www.wilfcampus.